Remembrance
by RockMuncher
Summary: Squall remembers a promise that he had forgotten long ago, but is it too late? SquallXSeifer yaoi. If you don't like yaoi, I respectfully request you read something else.
1. Prologue

Author: Liz Camp Pairing: A SquallXSeifer.. possible SeiferXSquall later. Warning: This is yaoi... boyXboy, and all that entails...if you don't like it, why are you still reading this? Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII, I would be very surprised if that changed anytime soon.  
  
Authors Notes:  
  
Well..this is it. My first Final Fantasy Fic...my first serious Fic and the first fic Im going to try like hell to finish. It's gonna be mainly a Squall POV, semi-angst, semi-comedy...and I hope there will be at least one reader who enjoys it. Reviews are GREATLY appreciated, since I'm groping in the dark here...and not the fun kind of groping either. This is Unbeta'ed...and if anyone is interesting in Betaing...I'd sure appreciate it.  
  
  
  
Prologue----  
  
I had forgotten my promise, and that alone was enough to make me want to scream. I couldn't scream though, not me...not the famous Lion of Balamb, the Ice Prince. No, screaming is not something the High Commander would do. If I screamed, I just know Quistis of Selphy would drag me down to the infirmary and force me into a little "informal meeting" with Dr. Kadowsky.  
  
I had forgotten...the GFs had made me forget. They took everything away from me, my childhood, my friends, my promise.  
  
I promised.  
  
I promised him.  
  
And I had forgotten, well...no more. I had to try, even if it was too late.  
  
Hyne...I hope I'm not too late. 


	2. Chapter 1

----Ch 1  
  
"Xu?" I spoke calmly into the intercom in the old Headmaster's office, as if nothing had changed.  
  
"Yes Commander?" Cid had gone Hyne knew where after the Sorceress War, taking Matron with him. I didn't bother looking for them. They understood that the whole of Gaia wouldn't be happy seeing the formerly possessed woman walking free, even if she did no wrong. The job of heading Balamb was now passed on to me. Like I wanted it.  
  
"Could you call Rinoa in for me?" Rinoa...the little princess. I shouldn't be angry at her, but I couldn't help it. Not that she'd notice. The girl wouldn't notice a ten foot tall Grendel standing on her foot if it said 'Excuse me'. But I can't hate her...she didn't make me forget.  
  
"Yes Commander." I look up as Rinoa wanders in. She was still beautiful, after five years of knowing her. Most of Garden believes I don't love her. They're wrong...I just never loved her the way everyone wanted me to. She knows this as well as I did, but it was nice to pretend. Safer. But now...I had remembered.  
  
"Squall? Are you all right?" I hadn't noticed I was rubbing the scar between my eyes until Rinoa spoke. I cleared my throat audibly, resting my hands on the edge of the giant oak desk that dominated this particular room.  
  
"..." What should I say? 'I'm sorry Rinoa, I know we've been through a lot, but I can't love you the way you need me to. So... goodbye. I'm off to search for the only person in my life who has made me feel. You see... I promised. But I forgot; silly me! Now I've remembered.and I can't forget again.' Yeah.that'll work.  
  
"You know, Squall, you have to talk to me if you want me to hear what you're saying." She smiles so sweetly, and I feel a twinge of guilt. I hate speaking, I can't say what I mean. I can never find the words I need when I need them. Why can't people just read my mind? Zell is the closest to doing that...even he needs me to speak sometimes. How am I going to do this?  
  
"Rinoa..." 'I'm sorry Rinoa...for what I'm about to do to you. I hope you understand' "It's over." I don't know if I can look at her, but I have to. I watch impassively.  
  
"I know. It has been for awhile, huh?" She smiles at me...why? Shouldn't she be screaming...or throwing something...or.. I don't know! I don't let this surprise get through though. I nod to her, mask in place, but I do sigh. She'll figure it out by that...right?  
  
"..." She looks so sad, but she's smiling. How can she smile like that?  
  
"Squall...we were never good for each other. It took you this long to figure it out? I love you Squall...you know that. But it takes two people for a relationship."  
  
Is this really Rinoa? When did she get so damn perceptive? Last time I looked, she was whining that her dog didn't coordinate with her outfit. Poor Angelo; poor, blue-furred Angelo.  
  
"Rinoa..." 'I never wanted to hurt you. Never. I thought...maybe if I could just pretend...', "I'm...not good with...talking." I hold up a hand when she starts to speak. She immediately stops. After five years, I guess she has gotten used to my little gestures, "I'm...sorry. For this." 'Hyne...why can't I just say what I MEAN. I'm sorry for hurting you Rinoa... I'm sorry for trying to protect you without understanding you were hurting all the more for it. I'm sorry for letting you down...for not being your knight. I'm sorry.' Why can't I just say it? My hands flail around the desk uselessly, rearranging papers and pens into a neater order.  
  
"I know Squall. I'll be going back to Timber...the Owls have been asking me to lead them for awhile now." The Timber Owls...who would have thought the most inept resistance group in all of Timber would end up running the damn place. But Rinoa's heart always belonged to Timber. "I'll miss you Squall. I hope you find what you need," she's trying so hard not to cry...Hyne... Rinoa.. don't cry. I'm not worth crying over...but there. Tears. "But you'd better call me every week, or I'll sic Angelo on you!"  
  
"..." 'I love you Rinoa...I just can't be in love with you' She's putting so much emotion into her words...so much strength. I was never that strong.  
  
"I will. But I'll be out of contact for awhile." I give up trying to be stoic, my right hand drifts back to my face, tracing the memory that lay there. The only visible sign of my weakness., I can't help but call attention to it with my fingers, tracing the scar over, and over again. This is me...this is all I am. All he made me into...my fingers rub the raised line, it's slightly rough to the touch, a mocking manifestation of what I'm feeling right now.  
  
Rinoa is watching the floor, hands clasped behind her back. She's thinking about something...it's so easy to figure out what she thinks about, she wears her emotions proudly. This time I'm unable to decipher them.  
  
"..." 'I wanted to protect you Rinoa...I failed. I'm sorry.' She looks up, into my eyes, done questioning whatever it was in her mind. I could see the hurt and determination in her eyes, I caused that hurt.  
  
"You're going off to find him, aren't you?" My eyes must have registered some surprise, though I was careful not to show it on my face.  
  
"...?" 'You're smarter than I give you credit for Rinoa, how did you figure it out so easily?' "He told me, you know. Once...right before we went our separate ways. He wasn't in that TV station for me...he was there for you. Even if you didn't know. I thought...I thought you might like to know that." Rinoa walks around the desk slowly, trying not to show her pain. I knew it was there though...I knew it when she looked down at me and smiled, and I really knew it when she leaned down to hug me. I couldn't breathe...but I think that was deliberate. A small, sweet reminder of the pain she's feeling along with her forgiveness.  
  
"You find him," Rinoa whispers in my ear gently. Her breath is warm against my skin, and I can smell that perfume she always wears. Rainwater and spring lilacs. "You find him, and you keep your promise." She steps back, allowing me to breathe again, nods once, turning her back to me. She leaves, on the verge of running, and I watch her go, silently promising her that I shall not fail in this, her last request of me.  
  
I will not fail.  
  
I cannot fail.  
  
I have given my word, twice, and intend to keep it.  
  
Who cares if it may be impossible? 


	3. Chapter 2

Remembrance  
  
Author: Liz Camp Pairing: A SquallXSeifer.. possible SeiferXSquall later. Warning: This is yaoi. Yes.yaoi. Don't all die of shock at once. Hey.Hey! Where are you going! Come baaack. **sniffles** so.alone...WAAAAHHH! Disclaimer: I am not the owner of Squaresoft, thus I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. On the bright side, I also don't own Kingdom of Hearts.  
  
Previous chapter---  
  
I have given my word, twice, and intend to keep it.  
  
Who cares if it may be impossible?  
  
  
  
Chapter 2---  
  
  
  
  
  
It takes me an hour to regain my composure, in which time I plan my next few moves. Even though I didn't consciously know about the promise, I must have known about in on a deeper level.  
  
You see... I've been tracking him. A sighting in Deling...a few in Balamb the week after everything settled, one in Esthar. But the most recent sighting was in a relatively small city, about the size of Timber, forty minutes to the east of Deling City. Sunrise Flats, that was where I would find him, I could feel it. Not just because of my rather vast network of informants, but because it felt like the right place. I'm going to find him there. And then, I'll drag him back home.  
  
"Quistis?" I tap my shoulder communicator lightly. Balamb has been upgraded since the War, mainly due to Esthar's financial and moral support. Although I'd like to think this was not just because I was the President's son.  
  
"Yes, Commander?"  
  
"..." 'Please don't call me that...I've never liked it.' Quistis had not changed at all in the past five years. When we got back, she asked for me to reinstate her teaching credentials. I guess she had enough fighting to last her lifetime. We all did. Now she was in charge of the entire teaching department, faculty and classes. She seemed happy, so I guess she found her niche. It's good...knowing where you belong...  
  
"Commander...? Are you there?" Drifted off again, Squally-boy. I wince, now I'm using Seifer's old nicknames to refer to myself.  
  
Seifer...I think that's the first time I've consciously thought of your name.  
  
"Quistis, I'm on indefinite leave, starting now." I hear her gasp, but she covers nicely.  
  
"Yes sir, who should I put in my old post?" A stupid question...but one used to calm her nerves.  
  
"...anyone you think will work. Xu will brief you on pending issues." 'You're ready for this Quisty...even if you don't think you are.'  
  
"...Squall?" She's nervous now, no more formality.  
  
"..."  
  
"Do you know...when you'll be back?" Maybe soon. Maybe never.  
  
"...no."  
  
"All right, sir. I'll try to do a good job while you're away." There's my Quisty...always up to a challenge.  
  
"You'll do a fine job, Quistis. And...tell the others...goodbye. For now." 'Tell them I'm miss them, and I'll be back when I can.' I have to do this...  
  
"Yes, Squall. I hope you find him; good luck." Dammit... did everyone know? Was I the only person on this Hyne-forsaken Garden to NOT know what I was missing?  
  
".....thank you... goodbye." 'Good luck to you too Quisty.' I sign off the communicator, removing it and leaving it on the desk as I head for my room.  
  
Packed and ready to go, and I haven't been bothered by any of the Orphanage gang yet. Quistis must have decided not to inform them until after I leave. Good, it's easier that way. I'm not good at good-byes...or hellos... or hells...any situation with people in it.  
  
As I leave the Garden, my home of more years than any other, I feel nothing. I expected to feel something, some sort of sadness...or something. But there's nothing but anticipating at meeting with Seifer. Pack shouldered, Lionheart in hand, I board the Griever (a gift from my father, during his guilt phase), and take off, heading towards Sunrise.  
  
Griever is a marvelous craft, but too easily recognizable. It was based on the Ragnarock, but instead of being shaped as a legendary dragon, Tousan made it into the image of Guardian Force Griever. Yeah, thanks dad. I roll my eyes, even though there's no one else around.  
  
It's only been the last year or so that I could call Laguna Tousan, dad...father...whatever. And it still feels strange, but I've been trying to, if only in my thoughts. We'll never be a family, but at least I can give him this, for his undisputed backing of Balamb Garden. Esthar has become a world power once more, and has become the unofficial center of unified countries. Laguna never could keep his nose in his own business, but I wish him well.  
  
"Thirty minutes until landing destination...cool huh?!" I really wish he hadn't used his own voice as a model for the computers, but we all have our crosses to bear. Mine happens to be a genki father who can't shut up, even when he isn't around.  
  
Thirty minutes...I think I'm deliberately trying not to think about Seifer. What am I going to say to him? What is he like now...can I even get him to listen to me? There are too many unknowns...but that's why I'm going.  
  
I decided to land outside of Deling City, it isn't unusual for me to visit on occasion, for business. Of course, there are no politics to this visit, other than personal ones, but the citizens won't know that. The less news that gets back to Sunrise, the better. I'm hoping for element of surprise.  
  
The craft lands on the outskirts of the city, I exit and secure it from prying eyes. If any would be thieves are skilled enough to get through the locks, they'll find some very nasty monsters waiting inside. Did you know Toramas could be trained as guard dogs? I didn't, until Irvine presented me with four of them. Irvine has an uncanny ability with animals and monsters alike. From here on out, I walk.  
  
I got used to walking during the war, but I admit I haven't done this much walking in a long time. The road is a narrow winding strip of dirt, choked on either side by trees and shrub, and the temperature is sweltering. I concentrate on walking, which is a relief, since it gives me no chance to concentrate on anything else.  
  
Ten minutes from town, and I've slain my thirteenth Marlboro. The lunar cry has really affected monster habitats to an extreme, but this many Marlboros is ridiculous. I should have borrowed Diablos from Irvine, but it wouldn't have been fair. I don't know when I'll be back to Garden and Irvine enjoys his conversations with the dark-looking creature. I'm wiping by gunblade on the grass to clean it for the hundredth time or so, when I feel something very sharp pressed against the small of my back. I nod in what I hope is a congenial manner.  
  
"..Seifer."  
  
  
  
  
  
---------  
  
A/N What do you think? I am an author in desperate need of feedback, so if anyone has a handout, I'll be glad to accept it *points at cardboard 'Feedback Wanted' sign in hands* 


	4. Chapter 3

Remembrance  
  
Author: Liz Camp Pairing: A SquallXSeifer.. possible SeiferXSquall later. Warning: This is yaoi. If you don't know what that is, look it up. Im not responsible for what happens when you do. Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, though I do have a couple collars that would look WONDERFUL on Squall. Sadly, I'll never be able to try them out.  
  
Previous chapter  
  
-- I'm wiping by gunblade on the grass to clean it for the hundredth time or so, when I feel something very sharp pressed against the small of my back. I nod in what I hope is a congenial manner.  
  
"..Seifer."---  
  
Ch 3----  
  
"NEGATIVE."  
  
"Fujin?" I'm genuinely surprised to hear her sharp voice behind me. Since when has she used a sword?  
  
"SQUALL. REASON?"  
  
"Ya, why'd ya come here?" And wherever Fujin is, Rajin isn't far behind.  
  
"Rajin, Fujin. I've come for Seifer." I slowly turn around to face the wind and thunder duo. As I suspected, Fujin has exchanged her old projectile for a rather elegant blade, currently pointing directly over my heart. Rajin seems to be waiting, probably watching Fujin to pick up on cues as to how he should behave. Fujin stares at me with her lone crimson eye. It's frightening how much expression she can put into that cyclopean gaze. I always wanted to ask her how she does it...but somehow I doubt she would take kindly to that particular question right now.  
  
I take a moment to think, and watch them, my posture relaxed, denying that they have caught me off guard. I'm not frightened; if they wanted me dead, I would have been dead before they announced their presence. Both of them have fought me before, and they're smart enough to know that I'm junctioned.  
  
Fujin hasn't changed in the years since I'd seen her last. She's still the same petite, terrifying woman that struck fear into the hearts of Balamb's students and Seeds alike. Still the same outfit, still the same eye patch, still the same deadly looking scowl on her face. Rajin has changed, oh he still looks the same, in that strange outfit of his, but he seems more confident than before. Maybe he's finally decided to apply his intelligence in battle, he always was intelligent, despite his behavior. Kind too...  
  
I wonder what made him decide to be a SeeD?  
  
"SEIFER, WHY?"  
  
"Why do you want to see Seifer anyway? He hasn't done nothing bad, ya know, he has us with him for witnesses."  
  
"I want..." 'I want to take him home. Because I promised, and I'm a man of my word. No matter how recently remembered.' Fujin must see some of my thoughts reflected in body language, or facial expressions, or something because she lowers her kitana back to her side. I hadn't really noticed I was tensed up, ready for battle, until I felt my body relax. Of course, Fujin doesn't trust me quite yet, her weapon is still drawn and ready. She turns her bloody eye to my face, appraising me somehow...judging me.  
  
I suddenly remember an old piece of mythology, about three witch sisters who sold their souls for the gift of vision, and ended up eternally squabbling over one shared eye. Fujin's missing eye could very well be that fabled all seeing orb, Hyne knows that her good eye is up to the task.  
  
"WANT?" Fujin has never really been patient, and right now she looks as if her limited supply has run out.  
  
"I want Seifer back. Back home. Back where he belongs."  
  
"WHY TRUST?" Rajin watches Fujin silently, until she nods to him.  
  
"Ya, how do we know we can trust you? Ya could just want to hurt Seifer, or bring him back for a trial or somethin'" I frown briefly, letting my hands rest on my hips. Fujin watches my movement carefully.  
  
"If I wanted to hurt him, both of you would be unconscious or dead by now. Same goes for putting him on trial." Fujin has to see the logic in that, she has to know I could still render them both unconscious before she could raise her blade. But this would be much easier with the posse's blessing.  
  
"Hey Fuu...I believe him, ya know. He could have taken us out already if he was gonna be a threat, but he's just standin there. I don't think he's gonna hurt Siefer, ya know." Fujin give me another long searching look, glances back to Rajin and finally nods. She sheathes her blade, turning her back to me.  
  
"...AGREED." Rajin grins his goofy smile to me, rushing forward and grabbing my hand. He pumps my arm enthusiastically, and I wonder which of the bones in my hand are left intact, if any. Oh well...at least he didn't hug me. He bounces backwards, motioning for me to follow him and Fujin.  
  
"Right then, we'll take ya to Siefer, but try not to upset him too much. He's not really used to having visitors, ya know. Especially visitors like you, ya know."  
  
I'm left to wonder at that comment as I'm lead off into the woods.  
  
-- It's evening by the time we arrive at a large log house in the middle of a clearing. My internal compass tells me we are about ten miles to the east of Sunrise, but I don't care much. Now, when I say log house, I mean log house. A two story very large looking house made entirely out of what looked to be pine logs. The roof is shingled with wood, the porch is wooden...in fact, the only things that aren't wooden are the windows and the porch light. It's an amazing piece of craftsmanship, probably took forever to build too. Or maybe just five years of pent up frustrations...  
  
"This is Seifer's?" Is the only thing that I could think to say. Of course it's Seifer's! Who else are they taking me to see? And now that I look closer, the massive oak door has an inlaid cross, Seifer's symbol.  
  
"OBVIOUS." Fujin calls my stupidity, eyes rolled. She points to a small path, marked by polished slices of log. I can count the rings in each step. "SEIFER, FOLLOW."  
  
"Ya, Seifer is usually in the backyard at twilight, ya know. It's peaceful there...and there's a hot tub." Rajin grins openly, poking my shoulder. I try to suppress my irritation. "You go on ahead, then. We'll follow ya in a coupla minutes." Rajin smirks, looking entirely too much like his blonde leader, and my instincts scream 'Setup!'. Rajin isn't the sort of man to fight dirty, though, so I'll go along with his wishes. I'm not unjunctioning, though. I don't trust him that much.  
  
"Fine." I follow the pathway towards whatever Rajin considers a backyard, head held high, trying to ignore any nervousness I'm feeling.  
  
  
  
(A/N---chapter three is out of the way.. woot! And the plot bunnies are attacking. I really wanted to branch the story off in four different possible directions.. but I had to choose one *sighs*. The next part is underway, and as always..Feedback is appreciated.) 


	5. Chapter 4

Remembrance Author: Liz Camp (MissyThang@aol.com) Pairing: A SquallXSeifer.. possible SeiferXSquall later. Rate: NC-17 for later chapter (yes folks, this may be a long one) Summary: Squall remembers a promise that he had forgotten long ago, but is it too late? Warning: Yami nashi, blah blah, if you can't fill in the rest, go home now. Yes...manlove is a wonderful thing. Disclaimer: I've only created one game, and that was on a BBS, so, no, I don't own FFVIII  
  
Previous Ch--  
  
Rajin isn't the sort of man to fight dirty, though, so I'll go along with his wishes. I'm not unjunctioning, though. I don't trust him that much.  
  
"Fine." I follow the pathway towards whatever Rajin considers a backyard, head held high, trying to ignore any nervousness I'm feeling.  
  
----Chp 4  
  
My first thought is: This is a backyard?  
  
  
  
The path continued behind the house and through the forest a fair way, extending to a second, larger clearing. At the center of the clearing was a small pond, glowing in the colors of the sunset. I can see fish swimming through the water, bits of silver darting here and there through the crystal clear depths. I look up from the pond, taking in the rest of the clearing.  
  
There is some lawn furniture here, if you could call it lawn furniture. They're more like function wood sculptures, highly detailed. Three chairs, one medium sized table, some sort of recliner, all glowing with their own internal light.  
  
There's the hot tub Rajin was talking about. Cedar, I can smell the aromatic wood from here. The water is steaming.  
  
Inside sits the object of my search, completely unaware of my presence.  
  
"Seifer..." I whisper, mostly to myself. His back is towards me, and he appears to be watching the sunset. His upper body is exposed to the air, and Seifer's chest looks a bit more muscular than the last time I had seen him. Of course, last time I saw him, he did have clothes on, so I might not be a good judge of his body. His hair is longer, but still not as long as mine, and it's ungeled. The affect is almost halo-like; a dark angel, contemplating the glowing sky.  
  
"Oi, Raaj? Fuu? The fuck you just standing there for? If you're gonna watch the sunset, get your ass over here!"  
  
Apparently, he has noticed my presence, if not my identity. Okay, a deep breath and I'm walking towards him. I get about three feet away from the cedar tub when he speaks again, causing me to pause.  
  
"Shit, Fuu, I know you're the silent type, but this is kind of ridiculous." Seifer laughs to himself, "Grat got your tongue? With all that silence, you kinda remind me of-" Seifer turns around to face me, his eyes widen almost comically and his jaw drops.  
  
"Squall." I nod to him, trying not to smile. He looks completely out of his element, I don't think I've ever seen him uncomfortable before.  
  
"Seifer." In my monotone voice, his names comes out sounding like a fact, an answer to some unasked question. Seifer covers his surprise well, putting his old, arrogant smirk back into place. I missed that.  
  
"So the Garden has finally gotten around to rounding up the rogue element, huh? I'm not going to put up a fight Leonhart, just let me get dressed before we go." I blink at him, he blinks at me; the silence stretches over us like a shroud.  
  
"Right, I may be a super villain, trying to take over the world with the embodiment of all things evil and all, but I do still have some modesty. I'd really appreciate it if you could, you know, turn around for a few minutes." I shrug, turning my back to him. If he attacks, I can defend myself quickly enough to evade any damage. Probably.  
  
Wet sounds as Seifer gets out of the hot tub. I can hear him retrieving whatever clothes he's dressing in. He's nearly panting, his breath is coming so fast.  
  
Seifer is scared.  
  
"So, am I going to be put on trial, or just executed in front of millions of people? Rajin and Fujin had nothing to do with my actions, just so you know. You can turn around again, I'm done." I do so, staring at his outfit. Who would have imagined Seifer wearing a fluffy cotton robe?  
  
"No, no trial. You've already been officially cleared of any wrongdoing during the Sorceress War. Edea and Rinoa too. There was an international war tribune, Dr. Odine explained how Ultimecia took control of the three of you." Seifer is watching me carefully, an inscrutable expression on his face. I walk closer, stopping about a foot from him. It feels like more than that.  
  
"Edea even demonstrated on a few of the judges, including Laguna," I half-smile at the memory, "She embarrassed the hell out of him too, forcing him to declare his undying love for Kiros." I tilt my head slightly, thinking. "Come to think of it, Kiros and Laguna have been spending an awful lot of time together since then." Seifer glares at me.  
  
"So, what? Is this a grudge killing, or did you take some sort of contract for SeeD? Either way, I won't fight it."  
  
Seifer kneels down on the grass, his robe riding up on his thighs. His position is strangely erotic, like he's kneeling for an entirely different reason. I try to force my mind away from that line of thought.  
  
He reaches out and grabs the tip of my gunblade gently, I let him guide my weapon to a position where the blade rests on his neck, just above his Adam's apple. He's staring at Lionheart, like it's a religious symbol, eyes focused completely on the edge of my blade. I watch, stunned, when he drops his arms to his sides and bows his head. I don't know why, maybe I'm just a sick fuck, but I find myself getting aroused by his actions, Seifer's complete and total surrender.  
  
"Go ahead, Leonhart, I'm ready. It's not like I have all that much to live for." His shoulders shake in silent laughter, "If I'm going to die, it damn well better be by your blade, so just fucking DO IT!" His voice is confident, almost cocky, but his body is trembling. Seifer...trembling, struggling to breathe normally; struggling to maintain some sense of dignity at what he thinks is the end. You have to admire the man, if only for that.  
  
I sigh, guiding the tip of my gunblade underneath Seifer's chin, forcing him to tilt his head upward and meet my eyes. There's a lot of pain in those blue-green eyes. Pain, fear...and something I don't recognize. His eyes are beautiful, even now, as he stares at me with so much pain.  
  
"I'm not here to kill you." Seifer holds my gaze with his sad eyes, never wavering, unblinking.  
  
"Torture then? It's no less than I deserve, I suppose," There's a hint of laughter in his tone, "although if you're going to use my body, you should probably know that I'd enjoy it." He winks at me, with a perverted little grin. Apparently, the erotic nature of our positions hasn't escaped his notice.  
  
"I'm not here to torture you, either." Seifer's playfulness vanishes, and he looks mightily pissed.  
  
"Then what the fuck are you here for? The mighty SeeD commander want to see how low the knight had fallen, first hand? Is that it? I always thought you were above that Leonhart. Hyne, if you're not going to kill me, why can't you just leave me alone?" The last sentence was less forceful than his angry tirade, almost a plea.  
  
"Can't."  
  
"Well, why the fuck not? What's so goddamned special about me, that you'd forsake your duty and come to the middle of nowhere just to fuck with my head?" Seifer looks livid, muscles dancing under his skin. I should do something, before this escalates into another scarring episode. Only, I doubt he'd be doing any of the scarring this time.  
  
I holster my weapon with my right hand, reaching my left arm out to him at the same time. He looks at my hand for a moment, then shrugs, taking it into his own. I pull him to his feet, not letting go even after he's standing.  
  
"Why are you here?" Seifer seems to have regained some composure, his face once again a mask of arrogance, his posture straight and proud. Too bad the image is ruined by the way he's clutching my hand tightly, as if desperate for contact between us. I look at him for a moment, remembering how he was; trying to figure out how he is now. My answer is as honest as I can make it.  
  
"Seifer, I missed you." Seifer's mask slips a bit with each word uttered, finally breaking completely as I gently squeeze his hand in mine. I pull his body towards me, wrapping him in a protective embrace. I hold on to him tightly as his tears threaten to overwhelm first him, and then the both of us.  
  
----  
  
(A/N Whatcha think? Was the meeting okay? Did I do a semi-in character vulnerable Seifer? I worked hard on this chapter..so... Please.. inquiring mind(s) want to know!) 


	6. Chapter 5

Remembrance  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
Warnings: This is yaoi, if you haven't figured that out just yet, I feel really bad for you.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own FFVIII, but maybe someday, twenty years from now it'll be cheap enough to buy. Ah...who am I kidding, I'll never own it! **wild sobbing ensues**  
  
Authors Notes: I got a lot of wonderful feedback from the last chapter...you like me! You really like me! And other such cliché expressions Ill try not to use in my fic. But I want to say thank you to y'all, and I'll try desperately to keep Seifer in character, but still uke. I've read a few too many waaay OOC uke Seifer's for my taste, and I'm trying to remedy that.  
  
Previous Chapter--  
  
...finally breaking completely as I gently squeeze his hand   
in mine. I pull his body towards me, wrapping him in a protective   
embrace. I hold on to him tightly as his tears threaten to overwhelm first him, and then the both of us.  
  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
  
We're indoors now, Seifer has gotten over his 'little girly fit', as he calls it and all of us are sitting down to a dinner Rajin and Fujin have prepared.  
  
The two of them never did show up in the backyard, a very wise decision on their part. Instead, they apparently went to work cooking a large amount of food. I'm a bit apprehensive to try most of the things on Seifer's giant oak dining table, especially the fish. The last incident I can recall involving Rajin and fish was...unpleasant to say the least.  
  
Seifer looks up from his food, which he's eating with great enthusiasm, and watches me from across the table. I'm a little unsure of how to act, so I'm pushing food around my plate, waiting for cues on how to act from Seifer.  
  
"So, Squally, just who is this Laguna guy you were talking about before?" Seifer is going to act like nothing happened outside. Typical of him, but I'll go along with his game for awhile.  
  
"That's right, you three missed out on the end of the Sorceress War," a slight wince from Seifer, nodding from the other two, "Laguna is the 'President' of Esthar. You ask me, he's more like their King, but he likes to be called President. He's the man responsible for sealing Adel's powers away in that space station." Seifer nods politely, looking slightly puzzled. I'll assume he's trying to figure out how I'm related to Laguna, no pun intended. I take a sip of water, watching as he does the same.  
  
"He's also my father." I casually mention. Seifer chokes on his water, and starts coughing. Rajin jumps up from his seat to pat Seifer on the back enthusiastically. Unfortunately, Rajin is a little too enthusiastic, and manages to 'pat' Seifer out of his chair, onto the table and into his dinner. Seifer swallows, tears in his eyes; then whacks Rajin across the back of his head. Rajin grins sheepishly.  
  
"Sorry Seifer, don't know my own strength, ya know." Seifer glares at his large friend.  
  
"I'll bet you don't," he mutters, trying to remove several layers of food from his hair. And I can't help myself, I start to laugh, smothering the sound with my napkin.  
  
Yes, you heard right, me...Squall Leonhartless, commander of SeeD and reigning Ice Prince of Balamb is laughing at Seifer's dinner table. Well...not AT his dinner table, at the events around said table. I just got the strangest mental image of the three ex-DC members faces if I started laughing AT Seifer's table. The stray thought makes me laugh harder.  
  
Seifer and Rajin stop their little argument to stare at me. This, along with Fujin's one eyed gaze is enough to make my laughter taper off.  
  
"What?" Why are they staring at me like I've just sprouted wings? Seifer raises an eyebrow playfully.  
  
"Why Squally-boy, did I just hear you...laugh?"  
  
"What of it?" I glare at Seifer, who looks undeterred.  
  
"So the rumors are true!" Seifer clasps his hands together, in mock happiness, "Finally, after all these years Leonhart...you've become a real boy!" (1) I give Seifer the finger, and turn my attention back to my plate.  
  
"At least I don't have fish in my hair." I frown, using my 'angry' tone. Seifer's face looks flushed, but it goes away fairly quickly. Wait a minute there...did Seifer just...blush? Why? What for?? He shoves his chair away from the table abruptly, standing up.  
  
"Stuff it Leonhart, I'm gonna go get a shower." Seifer mumbles and practically runs out of the room.  
  
A few minutes later, and I'm still staring at the door frame marked by Seifer's recent departure. I've never seen him back down from a verbal challenge before, much less run away from...well...anything. There seem to be a lot of 'never seen's' happening since I found him.  
  
"SQUALL!" Huh? Oh...Fujin. She looks angry, at least that hasn't changed. "CHASE."  
  
"Yah, you should probably go after Seifer; he's a little upset, ya know. Maybe apologize or somethin'." I scoff, rolling my eyes.  
  
"For what? He started it." Fujin narrows her eyes...well..her eye.  
  
"SEIFER, SENSITIVE"  
  
"Since when?" Okay, I'm a jerk... I know it. But I find it hard to believe that my ex-rival could get upset over something so trivial.  
  
"DO OR DIE" Fujin has that scary-look in her eye again. I gulp heavily. I swear, for someone who was so easily defeated, she can sure scare the hell out of me.  
  
"Fine." I sigh, standing up from my seat at the table.  
  
"Seifer's bathroom is up the stairs and to the left, you should probably find him there, ya know." Rajin points to the door frame, as if I need the directions. I leave the dining room, headed for the bathroom.  
  
---  
  
Okay, how am I supposed to do...whatever it is Fujin wants me to do when Seifer's in the shower, and I'm outside of a locked bathroom? I can hear the water running, and decide to wait. Leaning against one wall, I contemplate the length of time it must have taken to build something like this house.  
  
"Christ, Almasy, just what the hell are you doing anyway?" Seifer's deep baritone interrupts my wall musings. I tune in, curious.  
  
"I really fucking messed up this time, pissing him off like that...Hyne, I didn't mean it! I swear, I'm such an asshole." I smile to myself, this is getting pretty damn amusing. I'm just as big of an asshole as he is, but I can usually hide it. Seifer never could hide what he was thinking...hells, the man is talking to himself right now.  
  
"But damn... Squall looks hot when he's pissed off. Fuckin' let him work out his anger on me anytime..."  
  
What the hell? Did I really hear that? Why in Hyne's name would Seifer...  
  
I hear the shower turns off, must have been standing here longer than I thought. Shit...standing here. He's gonna know I overheard him! Got to get out of here...hide...leave...something!   
  
Jus then bathroom door opens; leaving me face to face with a nearly naked, and very embarrassed Seifer.  
  
  
(A/N Yeah... it's short, but I'm tired. I'll have more done soon though. I rather like posting short chapters, gets the story out faster.)  
  
(1) Like the fairy tale.. not a wooden boy.. a real boy! yah..I know sighs I need better insults. 


	7. Chapter 6

Remembrance  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
Warnings: Yaoi. Scared? Run.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, sadly, the only fantasies I own are entirely of my own making.  
  
Authors Notes: Arrgh...I'm so bad at seduction. But I'm trying! *bangs head repeatedly against desk*  
  
Previous Chapter--  
  
I hear the shower turns off, must have been standing here longer than I thought. Shit...standing here. He's gonna know I overheard him! Got to get out of here...hide...leave...something!   
  
Just then bathroom door opens; leaving me face to face with a nearly naked, and very embarrassed Seifer.  
  
  
--Chapter 6  
  
  
"Jesus Christ Leonhart, scare me to death, why don't you?! What are you doing here?" I guess I'm supposed to ignore the fact that Seifer's entire body has turned redder than a ruby dragon. But then, where would the fun be in that?  
  
"Strange color to turn when you're scared." I fold my arms, grinning inwardly, "Fujin told me to follow you, and I really don't want to say no to her when she's in scary mode." It's funny that just being in Seifer's presence can make me more talkative.  
  
"Fucking Fujin," he mutters staring down at the floor, then turns his attention back to me, "how long you been getting Squall-germs on my wall?"  
  
"Long enough." I swear I can hear the wheels turning; I never realized how fun it could be to mess with Seifer's head. I know, I know...it may be mean, but look at it as pay back. Seifer's been messing with me for years, I'm allowed one shot at retribution.   
  
"Nice towel." I check him out as obviously as possible. His eyes widen and he clutches the covering more tightly around his waist.  
  
"Thanks, it's white. You can buy one in town if you like it so much." I raise an eyebrow.  
  
"What if I want that one?" Seifer's mouth is open now, and he's staring at me like I've grown a second head. Well...a third head. I reach out and tap his jaw with my index finger, closing his mouth, and pushing his head to one side, "Don't offer unless you mean it." I wink, and his red coloring deepens into a bright purple. This is fun...  
  
"D-do you mind if I get dressed now? You can have the damn towel after I'm done. Frame it for all I care." He tries to push past me, and I 'accidentally' brush my arm against his back. He jumps, predictably.  
  
"I don't mind," I smile, watching Seifer with what I hope is a hungry stare as he sits on the corner of his large mahogany bed. Seifer frowns at me.  
  
"Do you mind *leaving*, so that I can get dressed? Hyne, take a fucking hint Leonhart!" I fold my arms, and try to mimic Seifer's trademark smirk.  
  
"Why do you want me to leave so badly? We're both," I stare blatantly at his crotch, "men, aren't we? I don't recall you being this shy in Balamb." I move so I'm standing in front of him, his eye-level at my crotch. He stares up at me with confused eyes. "Now, what exactly has changed? Is it the years, or," my hand shakes a bit as I reach out to run my fingers through his soft, blond hair, "the company?" I tug gently, earning a soft moan I don't think Seifer is aware of. Hyne he looks good, sitting there nearly naked.  
  
Wait...when did this happen? Just exactly when did I realize how fucking sexy Seifer really is? Was this a recent development, I wonder as I run my fingers along his jaw line, or have I always been attracted to Seifer? I know seeing him kneel like that, back in the clearing was an incredible turn-on, but Seifer just sitting here is just as sexy. Hmm...I think my plan has backfired, somewhat. So much for making *him* uncomfortable.  
  
"SEIFER?" Fujin knocks on the door loudly, and I realize my lips are inches away from Seifer's, my hands firmly fisted in his hair. I pull back just in time to see Rajin and Fujin walk through the door. Fuck, that was close. I shoot Seifer a glance, checking his reaction. He looks stunned, and his towel looks just a bit *too* tight. I stand between the duo and their boss, trying to make Seifer's appearance.  
  
"Hey Seifer, just wanted to tell you we're gonna go, dontcha know. It's getting dark and Fuu here doesn't want to be caught in the forest after dark, so we'll see ya tomorrow, ok?" Rajin looks a bit confused at Seifer's lack of response, while Fujin just smirks.  
  
"LEAVING NOW." Fujin seems to have shaken Seifer from his stupor. He shakes his head, and his eyes finally focus on Rajin and Fujin.  
  
"Yeah, okay...you two be careful getting home. I'll see you at lunch, tomorrow; me and Puberty Boy here have a lot of catching up to do." He grins at the same time he's struggling to hide a serious bulge between those long, tan legs.  
  
"HAVE FUN." Fujin shoots me one of her 'hurt him and die' glares, and I nod to her. She should know I didn't come here to hurt him. A small voice in the back of my mind asks me why I did come here? It couldn't *just* have been my promise, could it? And how *does* Seifer feel about my presence, other than threatened?  
  
The two Seifer groupies leave the room, and I stand there, silent, until I hear the front door close. This is the first time I've been alone with Seifer since before the Sorceress war began.  
  
  
  
(A/N What do you think, huh? Huh?? I'm definitely going with shorter, more frequent chapters. Adds to the drama too *cackling*. Again, I live for feedback now, but since I just discovered it, I'm barely subsisting. Give me more to improve my quality of life.) 


	8. Chapter 7

Remembrance  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
Warnings: You shouldn't think that just because A single-minded person without a bone of Originality in their body would be Irritated as the thought of men fucking, it won't appear here.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope...don't own Final Fantasy VIII. I'm gonna go cry now.  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Well, it took awhile, because I had to figure out the entire plot of this fic before going any farther, and the psychology of the characters. Eh.. lame excuse... I also felt like writing something a bit more lighthearted Nowhere Man...which is headed for heavy plot too...because we're heading into angst-city soon enough with these two. Rest assured... I have a large chunk of the next chapter done too.  
  
----Previous Chapter:  
  
The two Seifer groupies leave the room, and I stand there, silent, until I hear the front door close. This is the first time I've been alone with Seifer since before the Sorceress war began.  
  
Chapter 7----  
  
  
"So..." I trail off. This is awkward, we're just staring at each other. I don't know what to say, I don't know what he wants me to say. I'm still stunned Seifer didn't try to injure me for going after him like that, even if it was a joke. But was it?  
  
He was too responsive to me for him to have thought that it was a joke...and being aggressive just seemed to turn him on.  
Judging by his reaction, anyway.  
  
"-all? Squall?! For the love of Hyne...Squall, you're needed in reality!" I focus on Seifer, blocking out my thoughts. I'll take my cues from him...that way I'll at least know if he....yeah. But, his reaction was positive, even if it was unintentional. Do I want it to be positive?  
  
"SQUALL!" Seifer is standing an inch from my face, screaming at me. I blink slowly.  
  
"Don't have to shout, I can hear you just fine." Seifer looks ready to strangle me with his bare hands. Talk about mood swings...  
  
"Obviously not. I've asked you...TEN TIMES to GET OUT of my bedroom, and wait for me in the LIVING ROOM!"  
  
"All right Seifer, we have a lot to talk about." I nod to him, and leave the room, headed for his sofa.  
  
A half-hour later, and I'm getting bored. How long does it take to put on...whatever he's putting on. Of course, I know he's not just getting dressed. Knowing Seifer, he's trying to sort out exactly what happened, and how he feels about it. He always hated being taken by surprise.  
  
Finally...Seifer appears. Dressed exactly the same as before his shower. I shrug inwardly, he's more unnerved than I thought. Seifer sits on the opposite side of the couch. More silence...this time he's not going to speak first. Damn.  
  
Seifer knows me better than anyone else...and I *think* the reverse is true. He's patient...when he needs to be. So basically, he'll wait me out. I'd better say something.  
  
"I...like your house. You build it yourself?" Lame...very, very lame. Of all the conversation topics...that was the worst. But at least he has to say something now.  
  
"Yeah...well Raaj and Fuu helped of course, but I did most of it. It was something to do, work with my hands...remember some old skills, you know." Seifer coughs self-consciously. I *hate* this...why can't I be comfortable?  
  
"That's...nice. What have you been doing for the past seven years?" Seifer grinned his little mocking grin at me.  
  
"Little of this, little of that. Mostly construction...some security work, home improvements, it varies. You've gone far though...Commander." I snort indignantly.  
  
"It's not as good of a job as you'd think. You know how much I hate paperwork...that's most of what I do all day. All these obligations..." I make a disgusted face, "I'd rather be a normal SeeD...didn't have much of a choice though." Seifer makes a non-committal noise in the back of his throat, I don't think he's actually listening to me. His body language is telling though...he keeps edging closer.  
  
He licks his lips...I don't think he realizes how much he's communicating.  
  
I can see it in his eyes...he's asking me to do something.  
"Kiss me." I say, plainly. Seifer watches me, eyes locked on mine. He's thinking...why is he thinking? He wanted this, his eyes told me so.  
  
"Do you really want me to?" Do I...want? It's funny, no one has ever asked me that before. What do *I* want. I rest my forehead on my knees...Seifer is smart enough to know this isn't a rejection, just me thinking. He's waiting, patiently...still watching me, his back ramrod straight, and eyes unreadable. I cover my own eyes, I have to get away from that look he's giving me.  
  
What do I want? I have a duty to Seifer...I promised that I would look out for him, long ago. But Seifer didn't ask me that.  
  
Do I *want*...Seifer? I can remember, now...one other time. Someone asking me what I wanted.  
  
  
------  
  
flashback  
  
A little brown-haired boy is kneeling at the wave break line in the rocky beach visible from the orphanage he lives at. He's concentrating on something, you can see it in his posture, his head is bent forward, arms at his side, and his attention is directed at something below him, in the waves. It's a small toy boat.  
  
A slightly taller blonde boy stands further up the beach from the brunette, and has been watching him for some time. The blonde straightens his shoulders breathes deeply, and approaches the kneeling figure. Today is the day he will have a friend.  
  
"Can I play Squall?" The blonde watches, hopeful, but doesn't rouse the small boy from his concentration on the toy.  
  
"No. Go away." The blonde bites his lip, scrunching his face up in a childish expression of disappointment.  
  
"Whyy? I wanna be your friend!" The brunette still doesn't look up, even with the blonde's petulant tone.  
  
"I want to be alone." The blonde boy, sick of being ignored, approaches his would-be friend, crouching down beside him. He frowns, face in a childish pout.  
  
"C'mon... I can help you..really! I'll be your skipper." Brunette still refuses to look at the boy next to him...even when he's pleading.  
  
"No."  
  
"I'll...umm... do your chores for a week!" The older boy is getting desperate now.  
  
"No." The blondes eyes glisten, boys don't cry. Especially over something this dumb. But...  
  
"I'll do anything you want! Just tell me what you want!" The older boy's eyes widen as the brown-haired child finally...Finally looks at him, "C'mon... whatever you want! Just..." Be my friend...no one else can understand...don't make me be alone.  
  
"What...I want?" The brunette's eyes narrow, "Is this another one of your jokes Seifer?" The blonde shakes his head in childish denial.  
  
"Nuh-uh...whatever you want Squall! I promise!" His heart sinks as the brunette scowls and turns away, back to his boat.  
  
"You don't care what I want! I want you to leave me alone! Just...go away." The brunettes emotional tone wasn't reflected at all on his face, but the blonde boy could tell he was upset. It wouldn't take much to make him lash out now.   
  
Sad, the child stood up, giving one last wistful glance at his never-be friend, and walked off down the beach, to be alone. He could always try again...right?  
----  
  
back to present  
  
Why do I remember that now, of all times. Squall sighed into his hands. It was true...Seifer had asked me what I wanted back then. But Ellone had just left...Seifer would leave too. And he had...twice now.  
  
But he's here now...and he's asking you what you want, a small part of my mind whispers.  
  
And that...is a problem. Because I don't think I know what I want.  
No...that's a lie. I know one thing that I want. I want to help Seifer, and I want him back where he belongs. In my life.  
  
So, it's decided then.  
  
I give Seifer a small smile, more with my eyes than my lips, and reach up to run my hands through his hair, combing the blonde strands with my fingers. I slowly pull Seifer towards me, twining my right hand's fingers in the short hairs at the base of his neck. I gently trace Seifer's cheek, then jaw...then Adam's apple with my left hand, using my nails to caress his throat, raising goose bumps.  
  
He's closer now...our faces are half an inch apart when he runs out of patience and leans in, sealing our lips in a chaste kiss. After about ten seconds, I part my lips, running my tongue over Seifer's closed mouth, then between his lips, asking for access. His lips part, allowing my tongue to slip into that sweet cavern.   
  
I twine my tongue with his, coaxing it into an erotic dance with my own...and he slowly gets a more aggressive, returning my caresses, licking at my own lips.  
  
We both need air...so I separate from him reluctantly, running my tongue over his bottom lip and capturing it in my mouth, sucking gently. When my lungs are screaming for air, I release my hold on his lips and back away far enough to try and read Seifer's reaction.  
  
It's not what I expect.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N *crickets chirp* Okay.. its been awhile since I updated... Thank Aeroknight for the fact you have an update...or attack said person with large sticks. *holds up sign that says 'I do not advocate violence in any shape or form'* I'm in the latter category...since I was up till....ehh... it 6 freaking AM! Re-writing this twice. 


	9. Chapter 8

Remembrance  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: Careful wit' th' minarz... thar be yaoi in them thar hills!  
  
Disclaimer: Checked my stock portfolio the other day, no shares of Squaresoft. Also, realized I should really have a stock portfolio before trying to check it. The broker looked at me funny. *whistles to herself* So...me no own.  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
Arrgh... this was hard. Really, really hard... and other random author bitching. I'll just let you read to see why.  
  
----Previous Chapter:  
  
When my lungs are screaming for air, I release my hold on his lips and back away far enough to try and read Seifer's reaction.  
  
It's not what I expect.  
  
Chapter 8---  
  
  
  
  
  
Seifer has a dazed expression on his face for a few seconds, his lips are parted invitingly, and he's panting slightly. Sadly, he snaps back to reality all too quickly. His mouth snaps shut, his eyes widen, he reaches for my shoulders and...  
  
Pushes me away?  
  
Why? I'm about to ask, when he jumps to his feet and starts talking in a rush of words.  
  
"We can't...I mean, I shouldn't...you shouldn't...no no no...it's just...I'llberightback." Damn...Seifer. He wanted me to kiss him, he responded, and now he's fleeing the goddamn room. Exactly when did Seifer become such a coward? I stand up and follow him, he's not getting away from me without answering a few questions.  
  
Seifer starts walking faster, I walk faster...he clears the hall and practically runs upstairs, I follow his frantic pace. I won't let him run, I'm sick of seeing him run.  
  
We end up back in Seifer's bedroom. It's funny, in a sick sort of way, how everything leads to this room. Thoughts aside, Seifer is out of places to run, unless he jumps into the bathroom and locks the door. Somehow, I don't see him being that big of a coward, recent yellow streak aside. Hiding in a bathroom is just...unmanly.  
  
So now I'm standing here, Seifer's pacing, and the wall clock is ticking. I can hear it faintly, a soft clank counts each second. Guess I should speak, or we could both continue being amused by the clocks scintillating conversational skills.  
  
"What just happened on the couch?" I can actually see his pacing speed up.  
  
"Nothing. Nothing happened, nothing will happen, nothing is going to happen. Nothing." He makes sharp gestures with his arms to articulate his words.  
  
Did I read him wrong? Could seven years be enough time to change a man completely?  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"It's just...okay." Seifer throws his hands up in the air in defeat, "I admit something happened, but it's not going to happen again. So we should just forget that anything happened *right now*."  
  
"Why?" I fold my arms, and Seifer stops pacing, finally. His bedroom is not a big room, and it was getting annoying.  
  
"Why what?" I give him a 'you know what' look, "Fine, fine. It's just...it couldn't work, and don't interrupt me," Seifer glares at me when I move to speak, "we're different, you know that. It's been seven years Squall, seven long fucking years... what do we have to talk about? School stories? How we horribly disfigured each other for life? My attempts to kill you while brainwashed by an evil being from the future? And Hyne knows what Garden would think."   
  
He's jumping from thought to thought, rambling...  
  
"...and the newspapers...and dear Hyne, what about Rinoa?! Weren't you two an item or something... I think I remember that vaguely, seeing you together, but it's fuzzy. It's just...it would never work." Seifer frowns deeply, "I've got my life, you've got yours...and they're completely different."   
  
  
"It's just...too late."  
  
He lowers his voice to a whisper, but I lip-read the words. Too late? I know he doesn't believe that, but it's a good opening for a different question. Something that's been nagging me for years, now.  
  
  
"What happened to you Seifer? Why didn't you come back, after everything settled down. I know you're not stupid enough to think we'd hunt you down."   
  
I would have thought he'd be relieved at the change of topic, but if anything, he looks even more agitated. And he's pacing again...I'm going to break him of that habit, that is, if I get the chance.  
  
"How was I supposed to know that, huh? You tell me, cause apparently.. I'm too stupid to know the answer to that question...wait... did you ask a question? I'm sorry... I didn't realize it, I'm too fucking dumb." Defensive...and evasive.  
  
He arches an eyebrow at me and bares his teeth in a humorless grin... a clear challenge. Damn... I really didn't want to get into one of these petty little fights so soon. Wait...actually, that might be a good thing. When Seifer's truly angry...his shields are down, and he forgets himself in the moment. It's worth a try, if I can actually piss him off. I hope he hasn't changed too much.  
  
"Cut the shit, Seifer, and give me a real answer. We waited for you to come back, for a long time...you never showed." Seifer chuckled darkly.  
  
"Yeah, like anyone would wait around for my loser ass. I figure, hey...better for everyone. No more pissing off Quistis, Chickie-babe would breathe easier...you wouldn't gain any new scars. And I'd get the added benefit of *not* being hated by everyone surrounding me... good deal all around."   
  
Seifer's trademark smirk graces his lips, as he folds his arms in front of him. His smirk was a little too sharp. Seifer isn't good with masks, especially around me. He knows I'm not buying it, whether its something in my eyes, or just...I don't know.  
  
  
So...he turns away from me... I know he's going to leave... I just know it. Seifer... you fucking coward! I grab both of his arms tightly, right above the wrists, and see something I didn't want to see...  
  
Scars?  
  
Nani?  
  
My fingers tighten their hold as I pull him closer, inspecting.  
  
"What are these? I *hope* they're not what I think they are." Seifer's eyes are on his wrists, and he tries to twist away from my grip, but it's a half-hearted effort at best.  
  
"Ah...you weren't supposed to see those." Seifer caught my eyes with his for a second, then went back to staring at his wrists.  
  
"When the fuck did this happen!" Seifer laughed at my tone. The prick.  
  
"Whaaat...you don't find them attractive Leonhart? Here I thought they added a sort of...tortured artist feel to my look. But if the great High Commander disapproves...well." Seifer clucked his tongue, mockingly. Goddamn him...always thinking the worst of me. I hate that... I've always hated that. I'm going to keep hating it till I just fucking give up and die.  
  
"You *know* that's not what I'm thinking about. Dammit, Almasy! I want to know *exactly* what went through you're self-absorbed, arrogant head when you decided to do this!" I hold his arms up for emphasis, and he flinches...just barely.  
  
"None of you're fucking business...I'm warning you Leonhart. Back off." Oh, no...you're not getting rid of me that easily...I use that threat way too much to not recognize the lie.  
  
"Not a chance Almasy. You're *going* to tell me what happened to you, so help me Hyne. You're not leaving this room until you do." Yeah...there we go. The beginnings of panic, his eyes are shifting around the room...he's fidgeting. Any minute now...  
  
"Dammit Squall! Why do you want to know? You don't care!" Seifer rips his arms from my grasp, his hands balling into fists in front of him. He's going to have finger shaped bruises, I regret that. Just a little more though...  
  
"Bullshit, and you know it." Bingo. Seifer takes a swing at me, and I duck, dodging behind him. He spins around quickly, facing me. He looks positively feral, angry, panicked and wild. I can't help thinking how attractive it makes him.  
  
"If it's such bullshit *Commander*, why'd you wait SEVEN FUCKING YEARS before coming after me huh? I wasn't *that* hard to find." This time I block when he tries for my face. My eyes catch his...oh yes, he's panicking. I thank Hyne he's never been able to read me as well as I could him. Still doesn't change the fact that the man currently trying to bash my skull in knows me better than any other human on the planet.  
  
"I didn't know you wanted me to." Honesty seems to piss him off further. Seifer gives a desperate cry, throwing his weight behind his next punch. I catch his wrist, using his force to throw him to the floor, my arms wrapped around his, restraining him. He goes limp.  
  
"Dammit...you were supposed to find me Squall...you were supposed to be there." The words after that are garbled, muffled in my jacket. He's crying again...sobbing really. I should feel like a jackass, I really should, but he needs this. Seifer's emotional...you just have to chisel away to get to the right emotions. It's not easy...  
  
I let go of my deathgrip over his arms to stroke his hair, trying to soothe. He takes advantage of his freedom to wrap his arms around my waist. Well...this is uncomfortable. I'm now sitting on a hardwood floor with half of Seifer sprawled across my lap, still crying. My ass is numb.  
  
Don't get me wrong...I'm not a cold hearted bastard, really. Seifer needs this, I'll provide it. Because I *want* to. I...care about Seifer. Still doesn't change the degree of numbness in my ass one bit.  
  
Oh, thank Hyne...his grip is loosening. I take the opportunity to stand up, dragging Seifer's incoherent self with me, supporting his weight by wrapping my arms around his chest, under the arms. I pull him over to the bed, practically throwing him onto it and following after. As soon as I sit back down, his arms latch onto me again. At least this is more comfortable.  
  
Eventually, he calms down enough to speak.  
  
  
  
  
A/N Christ... I'm making Seifer into a little bitch *laughs* He wont be that way for long... it's just been kind of a rough day, what with most of his mentality towards Squall, and his place in the universe (Seifer's, not Squall's) being proven wrong. He'll be..err...'normal' eventually. But then, I see Seifer as very emotional, his anger kind of proves it in a sense. You have to care to be angry.   
  
On a more authory note... I was pretty proud of the way this came out. This is the first argument I've written where I've actually felt the characters emotions. That's enough self-congratulatory BS. Next chapter on it way. Soon. Probably. 


	10. Chapter 9

Remembrance  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: Yaoi is a beautiful thing. And resides in this fic.  
  
Disclaimer: Squaresoft has not given me ownership yet, but any day now they'll discover my devotion to the Final Fantasy boys and do the inevitable.  
  
Author's Notes: Eh..heh..heh. Squall is asleep most of this chapter...yet the story goes on.  
  
  
  
----Previous Chapter:  
  
As soon as I sit back down, his arms latch onto me again. At least this is more comfortable.  
  
Eventually, he calms down enough to speak.  
  
Chapter 9 ---  
  
  
  
"Fuck Squall, what is it about you that makes me attack whenever you're around?"  
  
"My charming personality." Seifer chuckles with his face buried in my shirt and I can feel his shoulders shaking against me.  
  
"The two of us, we make quite a pair, huh? The arrogant bastard turned sniveling wimp and the original 'talk to a wall' ice prick," Seifer's eyes meet mine, "no offense." I arch an eyebrow at the comment.  
  
"How could I possibly be offended by that?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Seifer half-heartedly pushes me away sitting so we're face to face. His eyes are puffy-looking, and a darker shade of green than normal. It's funny that I can remember the exact shade of Seifer's green eyes after seven years of not seeing him, but I can't remember what color Rinoa's are if my life depended on it. I wonder if that means something...  
  
something...  
  
is poking my shoulder.  
  
"-all? You're phasing out on me again." Seifer taps me again, smirking when I blink at him.   
  
"You know, if you're going to stay here for awhile, you have to stop doing that so much. What if I yelled 'FIRE!' from another room and you're off in Squallville, silently communicating with the little Squall natives and get burnt to a crisp. Heh," Seifer shakes his head slightly, "probably wouldn't even notice." I just glare at him in response and he grins maddeningly.   
  
"If you're done making fun of me,"  
  
"But it's so much fun!" Seifer winked playfully as I sharpened my glare.  
  
"IF you're done, I still want to know-" The playfulness in his eyes died as he held his hand to my mouth to stop my question. I had this insane urge to run my tongue over his palm.  
  
"Squall, I'll answer your questions...just not now. Not yet..." Seifer sighed heavily, "give me time, okay?" He withdrew his hand.  
  
"However long you need, as long as you don't expect me to let you run away again." I watch as Seifer's muscles tense at my words; there's a mixture of apprehension and relief playing over his face until he returns to his little 'I am Mr. Ego' grin.  
  
"Well, if you need to be near me so much, I guess I'll have to survive. But I've had a long day Squally...and as much as it would make me feel all 'tingly' inside if you stayed, there's a guest room down the hall." I nod, standing up.  
  
"Yeah, okay," I head towards the door, "Goodnight Seifer, I expect some answers soon." I turn to look at him. He looks calmer, more like himself as he lay stretched out on the giant bed. His posture is seductive, but I doubt he realizes it. Eh, best not to think about it now, or I'll never get to sleep.  
  
I leave Seifer's bedroom, heading down the hall when Seifer calls to me.  
  
"We're getting up early tomorrow to shop for supplies! Set the alarm for six."  
  
Six?!!!  
  
"Since when have you gotten up at six?!" I shout back.  
  
"Since I grew up Squall...see you in the morning." I shake my head, heading for a good night's sleep.  
  
------------------  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The smell of leather and sweat fills the room. It is a masculine scent, reeking of pheromones and implications. The lights are dim, highlighting a silhouette on the four post bed that dominates the room.  
  
I walk closer, breathing in that scent, reveling in it's headiness. The shadow turns into a person, Seifer. He glistens in the dim light, shirtless, sweaty, beautiful. He says nothing as I sit on the mattress, inches from touching that sweet flesh. The heat bakes off his skin and I can feel it, caressing me through my clothes.  
  
His hair is loose, falling in his eyes, and Hyne how I want to pull it, to hear him moan from my hands, locked in his hair, twisting...pulling...forcing his position just right to...  
  
maybe another time.  
  
I run my gloved fingers over his wide chest, collecting droplets of moisture on the leather pads. Mm...that won't do, can't have my gloves getting dirty, now can I?  
  
I straddle Seifer's straining figure, grinding my hips against his. Funny, I hadn't noticed before, but Seifer is restrained.  
  
Heavy rope encircles both his wrists and the headboard, effectively tying his arms above him. The same type of rope is wound around his mouth, being used as a gag.  
  
I leer at the bound figure, sweeping my eyes across his body. Seifer's nostrils flare and he tosses his head side to side, his hair looks even more halo-like in motion.  
  
"Be still." I'm startles by the sound of my own voice; I sound strong, confident. Seifer must have heard this too, because he immediately calms.  
  
"I'm going to remove the gag. You will not speak unless I ask you to." Seifer nods enthusiastically, then quiets down, allowing me to remove the restricting rope. He winces, popping his jaw and stretching lightly. Seifer says nothing, but his eyes are full of questions.  
  
I raise the hand I was caressing Seifer's chest with to his lips.  
  
"Clean them." I close my eyes as his tongue works my fingers, as he laps at my palm, slowly trailing licking kisses up to my fingers, then back again. I can feel the heat of his tongue through the leather.  
  
I grow tired of this on the third pass, and when his tongue reaches my fingers again, I push three digits past his soft lips.  
  
"Suck." And he does, Hyne does he ever... I swear he's trying to remove my glove from the job he's doing. He's hard to resist this way, but I pull my fingers back, just barely registering Seifer's displeased sigh. I peel both gloves off, then my shirt, and toss all three onto the floor. Seifer's eyes roam my body hungrily.  
  
"You like what you see?" A hint of teasing creeps into my voice, but Seifer just smirks and nods to me, not that he could do much else.  
  
"Good...because I like what I'm seeing...very much." I lean in to kiss Seifer, my lips ghosting his and he growls in frustration. My hand creeps down to one of his nipples and I twist, *hard*, enjoying the little gasp of pain coming from his lips.  
  
"Patience is a virtue you should learn. You tease too much." Another twist, another gasp, "but this time, I'll do the teasing, right?" I smack his cheek lightly for emphasis, and he moans softly. "Right?!" I slap him a little harder, enough to leave a lovely pink impression of my open palm on his cheek.  
  
"R..right." Seifer's really turned on, I can hear the need in his voice. I nod, satisfied.  
  
"Don't forget." My hands caress Seifer's chest lightly, trailing down to his belt.  
  
"Your job," I start slowly unbuckling the belt, making sure to brush my fingers against his abs, "is to lie there like a good boy and take whatever I give you." Buckle undone, I lean a palm against Seifer's groin, carefully avoiding all contact with his evident arousal. "You think you can handle that?" I pull the belt in one strong motion, tossing it over my shoulder. "Well, do you...knight?"  
  
"Aah...y-" I slowly caress Seifer's hard member through his pants, and it takes a moment for him to achieve coherency, "...yes." I squeeze just hard enough to make him cry out.  
  
"Yes, what?" He tosses his head back and forth, and tries to grind against my hand.  
  
"Yes...Commander." I smile down at him, I'm sure my lust is apparent.  
  
"Good boy..." I remove my hands from teasing him and concentrate on my own belts. Now, belts have *always* turned me on, the possible uses are endless...but right now I'm cursing the fact that I wear three of them. I manage to remove them fairly quickly though, due to motivation more than anything else.  
  
I sit, heavy against Seifer's chest, and take a moment to watch him. Seifer's chest heaves, his panting audible in the quiet room. He's squirming under me, his arousal *very* apparent...he's beautiful, tied up...displayed for *my* pleasure.  
  
My hands are at his waistband now, quickly stripping him of the pants covering what I desperately want to see. Interesting...it seems Seifer doesn't wear underwear.  
  
"And I'm the impatient one?" Even now he's mocking me. I give him a wolfish little smile.  
  
"Not yet you're not." I stand up long enough to remove my own pants, then sit down again, shoving his legs further apart so I can see all of him. I stroke his upper thighs gently, and he jumps. I move my fingers to his inner thighs, tickling, making him squirm.  
  
I want to hear him scream...I bet he screams prettily.   
  
Cupping his balls lightly in one hand, I trace his erection gently with the other hand. Seifer gives a strangled cry. I take this as encouragement, gripping him tightly, running my thumb over the tip of Seifer's cock.  
  
"Aahn...ooh..." Seifer moans unintelligibly as I alternately squeeze and relax my grip on his balls.  
  
"What...you don't have anything to say, Seifer?" I give Seifer an imitation of his own smirk and remove my hands.   
  
"Squall...Hyne..." I look up at his flushed face  
  
"What? Are you getting impatient, Seifer?" He mocks me...I mock him, "I don't want to hear you speak, Seifer." I bend slightly, bracing my fingers on his thighs, "I want to hear you scream."  
  
I engulf Seifer's cock in one swift movement, and he doesn't disappoint me.  
  
"Hyynne...Squall.....aaa..." He tastes wonderful, purely masculine, wholly Seifer. I lick my way down his shaft, then up again, applying enough suction to make my cheeks turn inward.  
  
"Squaaaah...." I nibble at Seifer's foreskin, earning a choked moan from him. He's trembling beneath me...he sense of power is overwhelming...  
  
I swirl my tongue across the head of his dick, probing his dickhole with my tongue.  
  
"Hyne! That's...oh Hyne, I don't know what that is...don't stop." I nip at him playfully, glaring into his eyes. He's not the one giving orders here...  
  
"Sor...oo... Sorry." I nod faintly, squeezing his sack hard enough to make him wince. Apology accepted...just don't do it again.  
  
Now I set to work in earnest, taking Seifer's member in until it stops at the back of my throat. I take a deep breath, and force my head down, deepthroating him. He thrashed against me, bucking his hips violently and I let him, grabbing his ass with both hands to pull him closer to me. I swallow several times, the muscles in my throat are massaging Seifer in a way that is just making him *scream* and I can't get enough of it.  
  
I pull away slightly, needing air. My tongue traces a long vein running the length of his dick and I re-trace the path using little nibbling kisses which seems to drive him crazy.  
  
And he looks like he's slowly going mad, his eyes are wild, his mouth is open in an o shaped gasp, panting for air in between moans...his body alternately arches and tries to shy away from what I do to it, and his legs are trembling.  
  
He's getting close to cumming now, his movements are getting more frantic. As his balls retract, I reach a hand around the base of Seifer's erection and squeeze, cutting off his release. I continue working his member in long strokes, deep throating him occasionally, nibbling a little too hard...this just makes him moan louder...but eventually...  
  
"Squall...come on." I look up at him for a moment, the question showing in my eyes, then turn my concentration back to teasing him.  
  
"Squallll....aa.....coo--oohmeee aaah..on." I remove my mouth from his glistening arousal.  
  
"Beg." I scrape my teeth against the tip of his sex and he jumps.  
  
"Hyne damn you Squall...I'm not going to....Aaaah!" I grin around his cock, he liked that. I give him one long, hard suck, then rest my tongue against the underside of his dick and hum lightly.  
  
"Gods...Squall..." I release him again.  
  
"Yes?" Seifer glares at me, if looks could kill he'd be tied there forever.  
  
"Damn it...please!"  
  
"Please what?" I emphasize my question by squeezing his dick lightly. His eyes roll back into his head.  
  
"Pleeease....let me..." I jerk him off gently, waiting.  
  
"Let you what?"  
  
"Damnit Squall... you're going to make me say it aren't you...you bastard!" I just nod to him.  
  
"...please...make me come....squall..." His voice is so low, I can barely hear him, but it's sufficient. I release the base of his cock as I engulf the tip in my mouth and suck *hard*. Seifer screams loud enough to hurt, and releases in my mouth, hips thrusting frantically, thrashing as hard as he can tied up like that...and Hyne... he tastes...  
  
...he tastes...ooh...he tastes like ecstasy.  
  
  
----------  
  
  
I bolt upright in bed and open my eyes. A...dream. A very disturbing dream. And apparently... a very disturbing wet dream, from the condition of my pants.   
  
Hyne Seifer looked good tied up...it's probably a residual from seeing him kneel in front of me this morning. That's got to be it.  
  
I calm down as I clean myself up the best I can, getting a spare change of clothes from my suitcase, and getting back into bed.  
  
It's a long time before I can get back to sleep.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N My first fanfic lemon scene, ugh. That wasn't easy 


	11. Chapter 10

Remembrance  
  
Author: Liz Camp  
  
Warnings: Who loves you?! Yaoi does!  
  
Disclaimer: I recently purchased a 1/6th scale vinyl statue of Seifer...but not the Final Fantasy franchise. This makes me both happy and sad.  
  
Author's Notes: Whole bunch of words... not much action. There's a point...really.  
  
----Previous Chapter:  
  
I calm down as I clean myself up the best I can, getting a spare change of clothes from my suitcase, and getting back into bed.  
  
It's a long time before I can get back to sleep.  
  
Chapter 10----  
  
"Wake up Squally-boy, we gotta get going."  
  
"..." Wha? Who...oh, Seifer.  
  
"Come on Commander, up and at em...bright new day, early bird gets the worm and other clichés..."  
  
I tense at the word 'Commander' and close my eyes...hearing that brought back images from my disturbing dream. I've never had one like that, so vivid...realistic.  
  
I feel the bed shift, realizing Seifer had sat down next to me. I crack one eye, grimacing at the sadistically cheerful grin on his face.  
  
"Now Squall, I know you need your beauty rest, but I did tell you we were getting up early. Do I have to drag you out from under there?"  
  
"NO!" Seifer blinks at my answer...Hyne, if he did that he'd notice how I was dressed, and I really don't want Seifer noticing my morning wood, "Hyne, I'm awake already..."  
  
Seifer laughs dryly, "Oh yeah, I can tell." I struggle with the covers, managing to sit up with considerable effort. I am not a morning person.  
  
"See, I'm halfway up now, now get out so I can get dressed." Seifer's eyes glint with mischief.  
  
"You sure you don't want me to watch?" I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.  
  
"No. Out. Now." Seifer nods, faking disappointment as he stand and leaves. I let out the breath I was holding when the door clicks shut, thank Hyne he didn't notice. After wadding my old clothes up and cramming them into the bottom of my suitcase, I grab a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, throwing them on quickly. My stomach grumbles at me as I head out the door, reminding my brain that I never did finish eating last night. Although, Rajin was cooking, so it might have been for the best.  
  
"So, we ready to go?" Seifer is sitting on the downstairs sofa, facing the staircase. I nod to him. Seifer hops up from the sofa quickly, clapping his hands together.  
  
"Great, let's get something to eat before shopping, you're uh... kinda scrawny there Leonhart. No offense." Am I? I suppose I have lost weight in the past few years...I just never have time to eat.  
  
"...Whatever." Seifer looks at me, amused.  
  
"You know, yesterday, I thought we had you up to full sentences, must have been a passing thing."   
  
"..." He's mocking me again...it's sad how much I missed that. We step out onto the porch and the full spectrum of the day hits. It's beautiful out, I can see why he likes it here, the sun is shining through the leaves, the birds are singing. There's something about their song...a longing, both beautiful and sad, that makes it a perfect accompaniment to the orange-red sunrise.  
  
Seifer throws an arm around me, startling me from my reverie. "Well, what are you waiting for? Car's in the back." He guides me around the back of the house, and I try to ignore his arm, hot against my skin.  
  
----  
  
"This--is your car?" Seifer breaks into a sunny smile I've never seen before.  
  
"Yep, knew this would get at least a sentence out of you, she's a beauty, isn't she?" She, being Seifer's mint condition Fjord pickup truck. It was a classic, sixty years old if a day, painted jet black and detailed with Seifer's fire cross symbol in blood red on both sides.  
  
"...you do this?" I finger the paint, tracing the cross outline. Seifer nods.  
  
"Hell, yeah. I fixed, restored, painted and customized her," he smiled a secret little smile, "she's the only woman for me...my baby."  
  
"Nice, I didn't know you knew cars."   
  
"Well, I didn't at first, but I learned, and now I'm doing small repairs on cars around town. Pays to learn these things." I nod, distracted by the car. It's just so...Seifer. Speaking of, he's unlocking the passenger and driver's doors, "You going to get in, or stare at it?"  
  
"In there?"  
  
"No...on the roof. You think I'd make you walk along behind or something? I'm cruel, but not heartless. But I swear...one scuff, one scratch and I'll toss you in the middle of the woods without your weapon." I pinch my cheek between my teeth, forcing the smile away from my lips.  
  
"Understood." Seifer nods, hopping into the cab, and I follow. The drive is a pleasant one.  
  
------  
  
"Hey Seifer! How you been?" I look up at the tenth, or eleventh person greets Seifer as we leave the diner. Breakfast was awkward, neither of us really knowing what to say...and bringing up what happened between us in public is probably a bad idea. It's unusual, Seifer not having something to say, at least, it used to be.  
  
"Hi Frank, been good, you?" The man who greeted Seifer grinned.  
  
"Oh, I'm good... not much going on. Sally and the kids are keeping me busy, but who is this?" Frank turned towards me, and I really don't like the look in his eyes as he appraises me. "Another stray? This one's kinda cute." His eyes finish roaming my body and settle on my face. I glare at him and he loses some of the attitude. Seifer snickers at this.  
  
"I wouldn't be calling him cute, if I were you...mercenaries don't like that." The man's eyes widen at the mention of mercenaries and I have to force myself not to smirk.  
  
"M-mercenary?" Seifer once again puts his arm around my shoulder, this time for show. "Yeah, but don't worry, he's on vacation, the only killing that's gonna happen is if anyone pisses him off too much, right?" He turns to me, giving me a covert wink. Ah, what the hell, I'll play along. I step towards the man, Seifer's hand falling from my shoulder, and extend a hand to him; Frank flinches away from my greeting, but takes my hand despite his hesitation.  
  
"Right. Nice to meet you Frank. Don't call me cute, and we'll get along fine." I give him one of my cold smiles, the one I reserve for drying up conversations at required social functions. Frank breaks out into a cold sweat almost immediately, but he grins despite it. Well...a grimace is similar to a grin.  
  
"I-I wasn't aware mercenaries had vacation time." I squeeze his hand once, firmly, then let go.  
  
"SeeD do." I can feel Seifer's amusement from three feet away as Frank slowly goes white.  
  
"SeeD, huh? Oh, well...look at the time! I gotta go!" He turns, walking at a near run, and comes close to tripping over the sidewalk. As soon as the man is out of earshot, Seifer grins.  
  
"That was great, Squall...did you see the look of his face?" Seifer chuckles at the mental picture. "I've been trying to warn that guy off for months!" I stare at him pointedly, waiting for an explanation.  
  
"That's Frank, the local lech. He's got a nice family, but he can't seem to keep his eyes...and hands...off any young good looking person, male or female."  
  
"Including you." I frown slightly as Seifer nods assent.  
  
"Well, yeah. He's harmless, buy annoying, and it's not like I can whip out Hyperion and start hacking away at the locals when they annoy me. Five years living just outside of town, and I'm still the new boy. Still, I doubt he'll bother us for awhile." Seifer smirks to himself...looking pleased.  
  
"Doesn't he know who you-"  
  
"Naw, I don't think so. Seifer's a pretty common name; well, common enough. Didn't recognize you now, did they?"  
  
"No." That's true enough, but very few civilians really know what I look like. They just know Squall Leonhart, The Lion of Balamb, by name. In fact, none us 'heros' in the Sorceress War were ever really put into the spotlight. By the time the public realized how much danger they were in, we'd already won and disappeared. I think there may have been two or three actual pictures of our gang, and those were all group photos with the other Balamb SeeDs.  
  
Now Seifer had plenty of pictures taken of him, but no one had really known how large a role he had played, other than the governments and gardens that were involved. It was for the best...Seifer would gain no more attention or ill will than any other soldier on the losing side of the war.  
  
"We were lucky, you know. There was so little media coverage until after...everything happened." Seifer unknowingly parrots my exact thoughts. I nod to him.  
  
Seifer watches me, an inscrutable expression on his face. He seems to shake it off after a minute or so, and grins cheekily. "Well, we should get going. The groceries won't buy themselves!" Seifer and I walk off, intent on our goal.  
  
-----  
  
I hate shopping, officially. Well, I know I hated shopping with Rinoa, but I'd just assumed it was the whole 'guys hate shopping with their girlfriends' thing. It wasn't.  
  
After an indeterminately long amount of time, twenty or so more friendly chats with the locals...Seifer seems to know practically everybody...and wandering the store aisles four or five times over, we're finally done and back home. It's been a whole day since arriving here, and already I'm calling Seifer's house home. Strange...  
  
But it feels comfortable here. Safe. I can't ever remember feeling safe- no. That's a lie. I've felt safe twice in my life; once, at Matron's, before Ellone left, and once, in the beautiful underground city of the Shumi Tribe.  
  
And this makes three places I've felt safe. But unlike the others, I could stay here.  
  
'Yes, stay.' I think to myself as I smile at Seifer, 'Staying doesn't sound like such a bad idea at all...at least, for a little while longer.'  
  
A/n... yes, it's been a long, long time since I've updated... but I promise not to let it go that long again. I now have a website... at http:// www.geocities.com / missythang @ sbcglobal.net. It's spaced out because of inconvenient automatic coding. Stupid things reads as an e-mail address. I have Remembrance and Nowhere Man on the site, as well as other WIPS and ficlets from different fandoms. I'm new to web design...so tell me what you think if you visit.  
  
Till next time. 


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